Plymouth University: Student Bucket List

University can be a very stressful time, me and my friends decided to give ourselves hope and something to look forward to. This was done by creating a Bucket List of things that we wanted to do before we left Plymouth. Due to uni work constraints and stress it is not always possible to do all the things you want to during term time. However, once exams were done, coursework handed in and dissertations complete - we were free, free to do all the things we wanted to (with a little bit of sadness due to the fact that we were leaving Plymouth and all these things would not be on our doorsteps any more).

Ensuring we gave ourselves some time to chill and enjoy Plymouth we came back and had what we termed "a week of fun" - which is a week I will forever remember. I really do urge you to do the same and have fun and a bit of closure with your uni town and university friends.

Our week of fun and things I have enjoyed doing in  my four years at Plymouth:

• chilling on the hoe with my friends, having a picnic, eating fish and chips and roasting marshmallows - as soon as the sun is out the hoe is the place to be 
• walking to the hoe and barbican in all kinds of weathers (it is Plymouth after all)
• listening to live music at the barbican 
• having a house sleepover 
• dancing to our hearts content in the cheese room in oceana
• visiting Penny Well farm (not Plymouth I know but was a highlight!) 
• nights in with my my amazing friends
• melting chocolate with rice crispies 
• dancing on cuba bar despite being a third year
• drinking wine at the hoe on rocks by the sea
• indian meals - Ghanges and Ghurka/ Curry Corner
• getting involved with many projects and university services
• going to the beach for the day and freezing to death in the sea, whilst almost killing ourselves climbing up and down what felt like a cliff edge 
• starting up the amazing Student Minds society 
• first year nights out in C1Os (+ the party bus)
• making up dances and playing just dance (your never to old!)
• going to the yearly fireworks 
• pre drinks and house parties
• managing to sleep with 3 people in a single bed 
• cutting down a tree in the garden all day with a rusty bread knife
• swimming in the lido until we turned blue 

I have had the best four years and seriously the good times have far outweighed my struggles. 

Goodbye My Lover, Goodbye My Friend

Plymouth, over and out.....

The car is packed, my room is empty, the house is probably cleaner than it was before we arrived. The door has been shut for the last time, my uni house no long belongs to me. Plymouth is no longer the place that I live - that is very hard to comprehend. The thought of leaving fills me with dread.

Its weird actually as all of my friends left Plymouth like a month ago, so I have said goodbye to one of my favourite parts about Plymouth. However admitting that this is the end now is hard. Classic Grace hanging on till the last minute, the longer I put it off then I wont have to actually leave and say goodbye right? WRONG!

Goodbye Plymouth, Goodbye University

At least I have the honour of coming back for my graduation in September - and I could not be more excited to have my family watch me graduate with a first class degree. Above that I can't wait to see my amazing university friends again. 

However, this isn't the end, I have had the best four years at Plymouth University, but this has only allowed me to have the future that is coming - time to move town, start a new job and develop even more as a person. 

Those Special People In Our Lives

Friendship: there are many necessary things in life, but I believe friendship to be one of the most valuable. They are the people who complete us - someone to talk to, spend time with, comfort us and most importantly laugh with. However, in life we all meet thousands of people and experience many friendships, some which last for a short amount of time, some that end badly, some in which you just gradually drift apart and some that last. The question I often ask myself is – how do I know when I have made a lifelong friend? And how can I distinguish between a friend and a really good friend?

After 22 years I still don’t feel any closer to answering these questions. Life is a funny thing and friendships are even more complex but essential to living a happy life. I am becoming aware that having a small close knit group of friends is a lot more meaningful than having lots of friends. Safe to say I have experienced my fair share of friendships, some good, some not so good, but you aren’t going to get on with everyone and sometimes I have had to learn the hard way: from playground fallouts, to bitchy girls and to people who simply don’t care enough!

I like to see the good in everyone and often make excuses for my ‘friends’ who often don’t live up to this label. I am fully aware that no one is perfect, people fall out, people make up, this is a normal part of friendship but when is enough enough? And how do you know when someone is truly your friend?

One thing I have learnt as a university student is people walk in and out of your life constantly, you meet new people everyday but often these people I would class as circumstantial friends. These are the people who you spend time with due to being on the same course, or who you live with in first year, those who you know through a friend, and people who join the same societies as you do. Arguably, you spend time with them because you have to, they are around when you are and vica versa. But outside of university you may not make an effort to keep in touch, not because either of you are bad people but because this is how life works.

As the end of final year approached there were far too many goodbyes with many questions floating around in my head: will we keep in touch? Who was a circumstantial friend? And who will be a true lifelong friend? 

However, I reassure you that it's normal to lose some friends after university, and throughout life you will lose even more circumstantial friends. Don't let this get you down or make you feel like it's your fault - it's a normal part of life. I often underestimate the extent to which we will all easily end up with different sets of people throughout life and it's normal to find and lose friends regularly.

Meanwhile, there is nothing better than having a few true friends that you will stay with throughout life, who will stay with you no matter what, despite the distance, despite life experiences. You will grow apart, whilst growing together. Staying in contact with people over a long distance is hard but it is possible and you can make it work.

I know this because I do know a couple of amazing people who I am blessed to have in my life and I hope they know who they are. Despite not being able to distinguish between who is and isn't a lifelong friend, what I do know is who makes me feel happy, loved and wanted. There are very few people in my life that I know can make me laugh no matter what, or who I can talk to about anything with no fear of judgement. Those who no matter how rubbish I can be at times they still understand and are still there.

This is dedicated to you, and you know who you are. I just wanted to write this public thank you and share how blessed I feel to have you special people in my life. And for those of you who are worrying about losing and maintaining friendships, this is a big part of life and you're not the only one who is often unsure where you stand. Just never forget that you are not alone and this is a normal part of life.

To have friendship is to have comfort. In times of trouble and depression, a friend is there to calm us and make us feel a little more ourselves. Lasting friendship is a blessing which I feel lucky to have.

Plymouth: My Special Place

Plymouth has been my home for four years now, from a wide eyed fresher to the graduate student I am today.

Shocked,  the end has finally come and I am full of feelings of uncertainty. So much change as I transition from a student to a graduate with a job (yes I managed to get a job!). Not only am I starting a new chapter in my life, I have to say goodbye to all that I know; the place that has been my home for the past four years, student life and unfortunately all my amazing university friends who have of course made my four years incredible.

Plymouth is a beautiful city with the hoe, barbican and city centre on our doorsteps we are spoilt for choice - making fun days out with my uni friends those that I will remember forever.

However, what I have to keep telling myself is that I am lucky to have had the best (yet the hardest four years of my life) time at university and no one can take these four years away from me. They have developed me into the person I am today. Plymouth is not going anywhere, yes I will not own a house here but I can always visit - anyone fancy it?

Mostly importantly the beautiful friendships I have created are to stay, despite being separated I will keep in contact with my closest friends and hope to arrange regular meet ups. Yes it wont be the same as being down the road from each other, but I know its possible, we can make it work (my best friend graduated last year and I still speak and see her all the time). If you want to keep in contact you will! 

So here is to the future and I cant wait to see what is in store for the future. Not only for myself but the amazing people I have met during my time at Plymouth University. 

Plymouth will always be a place that I call home and will forever have a place in my heart. 

Hands on Heart - I did not Think I would Make This Far

Four years on, four years of fun, tears, stress and making the best memories.

Its over, I have done it, I am leaving university, I have completed my degree. 

So many times I thought I would never see this day, hitting so many brick walls with uni work, being surrounded by piles of text books, sleepless nights, never ending days of revision, a mountain of pieces of coursework to complete. Alongside with too many days led in bed crying, sitting on the floor of the toilet before my exam being too anxious to get out, having to take time out and not being able to sit my exams in my second year due to my depression and anxiety, to almost dropping out. You name it - stress has made me do it.

University is not easy but I can now honestly say despite all the odds it is possible.

 Not only am I graduating, I am graduating with a First Class degree which I could not be happier about, all the hard work and tears are finally worth it.

However, this is not a post to big myself up. This outcome has only been possible to my amazing support network; mum, family, friends, counsellor and doctors. Thank you for always believing in me and telling me I could do it, that I am capable, even when I highly doubted you. Honestly, you will never understand how much those little words of encouragement meant to me, on the days when I had the worst thoughts going through my head you made me see the light.

Many people say you are away from your support network when you got to university, but I honestly think I found mine. It really is true what they say university friends do slowly become family. They see you everyday, notice the changes when things are not ok and are there for you when things just get a little bit too much. University is not easy so you help each other out, proving to each other that finishing a degree is possible no matter how hard it feels at the time. Not only am I graduating but so are/have my amazing friends.

Please never doubt yourself, because it is possible and we are living proof of that. 

The Importance of Not Burning Yourself Out

Despite often having very bad days, one of my biggest goals has been to not let other people realise this. People’s perceptions of me are something that I worry about often; do they like me? Will they think that I am weird? Am I boring? I really do care too much about what people think.

This has led to me appearing to be happy, confident and always ready for a good time. This could not be more wrong! Sitting in a lecture recently I was discussing being nervous about working with no one I knew and how I felt scared meeting them for the first time. My friend turned to me and said “REALLY?!?! You always seem so confident, I can’t imagine that” and then she paused and said “or you are just really good at appearing that way”. 

This really made it feel real to me; I have put on a show for so long. Sometimes this does work in my favour; it allows me to appear externally to be a happy, friendly, confident, fun person. However, eventually this can often get too much leading me to burn out. 

There is only so long you can pretend that everything is ok when it is not. As someone who has spent years keeping up this act it can be very hard. I am generally a happy, fun, loud, energetic person, but there are days when I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I question my existence and constantly worry about everything I have said and done. 

I am slowly beginning to learn that this is a part of who I am and I think this worry will always be present and yes I will have bad days but you know what, this is ok. It is very hard for me to admit to myself that I am struggling, let alone to the people I know and love, but hopefully one day I will be able to be more honest with myself. 

What I have learnt recently is that people understand and would rather I admitted I was having a bad day, instead of feeling the need to put on an act. I am realising in the long run this is also better for me as I can take it easy and have a few days to help myself, before I start burning out.


Here are a few things I am slowly learning are ok:

• It is ok to say no; you don’t have to attend every social event you are invited to, you don’t always have to do what others expect, if you aren’t up to going or don’t want to go then you don’t have to.
• A day in bed is okay; self-care is key, snuggling up with a cuppa and a movie or a good book is allowed, it does not make you lazy. We all need to recharge our batteries. 
• You don’t have to be happy 24/7; in fact I’ll let you into a secret no one really is. It’s completely normal to have bad days.

Finding Someone Who Shares the Same Pain

Do you get those times when you are struggling and feeling completely hopeless? Getting better seems like it’s getting further and further away? Do you just want someone to tell you that everything is going to be okay? That they have experienced what you are going through and have survived it?

I am very lucky to have been supported during my experiences with mental health difficulties; there has always been someone to pick me up when I can’t find the strength to keep going. Having those around you means you don’t only want to recover for yourself, but for those amazing people who love and care about you.

However, I am aware that not everyone is lucky enough to have the support of friends and family. On the other hand, regardless of your support network, 9 out of 10 people with mental health difficulties have experienced stigma and discrimination (Time To Change). Not everyone will understand what you’re going through and some people might even be hurtful.

Despite this don’t let those people get to you - they might not understand what you’re going through and the only way they can deal with this is by blocking you out, removing themselves from being friends and even being rude and nasty. Not everyone can be as understanding as you are, and this is no reflection on you. In life some people will understand your complexities whereas others won’t. It doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person; it may just be a lack of understanding of what you’re going through.

Nevertheless, don’t let these people make you turn your illness into a secret either. Why? Because this won’t help in the long run. Burying your head in the sand might work for a while, but facing your mental health problems face on and learning to live is the best way to cope. In life, there are some people who will just never understand you, no matter how much you tell them, and there are others who understand everything without you even speaking a word. You just have to find that person or people, who understand you with all your complexities, quirks, problems and personality.

However, despite this support and understanding, helping someone with a mental illness can be hard; it can be draining and your needs may become challenging for them. This doesn’t mean that they like you any less. Sometimes they may just have to take a step back when it gets overwhelming. Not only do you struggle, they will feel your struggles and like you find it hard to cope. My solution to this would be to find someone who feels your pain and suffers from the same mental health difficulties that you yourself suffer from. Why? They can understand that chaos in your mind, as they have also experienced it. You may argue that finding this person would be a hard task, but it’s not. Mental illness isn’t something that just happens to the minority - it affects 1 in 4 people. It’s easier thank you think to find someone.

I have personal experience of this. My best friend, who also suffers from mental health difficulties, gave me the strength when I didn’t think I could go on. She told me that yes, there would be bad days, but things do get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Unlike the other people who have supported me - friends, family and doctors - she actually had the experience to give me the confidence to believe her that this in fact was true, and I could get out of this dark place. Comedian, writer and mental health campaigner Ruby Wax advises those suffering to “go and locate a ‘f****d up buddy’; someone you can call day or night, when you can’t take it anymore”. Finding someone who shares your pain is invaluable.

Seriously, nothing can compare with the encouragement you get from someone who has already walked in your shoes. As well as being encouraging, it gives you that safety net that you often need at your worst. Any friend, family member or doctor can tell you what helps, but unless you can see for yourself that it works, it can be hard to trust their opinions. Personal experience brings wisdom that is one of a kind, and if this can be shared with others it can be extremely powerful.

You can endlessly discuss things that may be deemed taboo with other people, your bad experiences, drugs you’ve taken, therapies you’ve received: the list is endless. Sharing yourself with someone who understands and has had similar experiences will mean you will never get bored of listening to each other’s never ending stories.

Also, not only do you have the support from that person, they also have the support from you. It’s a two way process in which you can speak and listen, give and take, be the encourager and be encouraged. Take it in turns to pick each other up when you’re struggling or celebrate when things are going well. It means you will both have someone to hold your hand when it’s needed and guide you in the right direction.

Simply talking can change your life and help you get on the road to recovery. The feeling of isolation and being alone could go away if you just utter those few words “I have a mental illness”. Everyone is different and complicated in their own way: embrace this, share your life experiences with others and you too could make a difference to someone’s life.

Ultimately, remember that you are not alone, there is someone out there who is just like you, with the same struggles, similar experiences and who understands what you are going through.

This is dedicated to my best friend who knows me a little more than I know myself and fellow student minds blogger Becky McCerery.​